“Stress? Anxiety? Unreasonable Emotions? Dianetics is the all time self-help bestseller!”
Such said the message on the book display case. Sounded good to me, I certainly had all those things and was in need of self-help. At twenty years old, I was confused and depressed, with a lot of baggage and issues to overcome. I’d sought answers and had recently found one on the back of an album by pianist Chick Corea, of my favorite musicians. The words read:
“And once again, my deepest thanks to L.Ron Hubbard for providing me with some indispensable tools for improving my life.”
Well…I thought. What have I got to lose?
No one I knew personally had ever read Dianetics. I knew it was supposedly controversial but I had no idea why. So I bought a copy and was determined to find out for myself. After all, if the great Chick Corea, was endorsing it, how could I not at least check it out?
The very first part said that there were incidents in everyone’s past that they may have forgotten consciously but not subconsciously. Every single memory was retained and affected the reactions of each individual. This seemed reasonable to me. I knew I was affected by some bad memories from my youth. As the book went on, it encouraged the reader to seek out one of many Dianetics Centers across the country. Which is how I found myself at the Dianetics Center on Shattuck Avenue in Berkeley California, talking to a skinny, pony tailed, glossy eyed hippy-like individual.
I explained to him why I was there: I’d seen Chick Corea’s words on the back of an album and being a big fan of his music, I was seeking a better understanding of it. I’d felt creatively and personally unfulfilled and had a big problem studying and retaining complex information. This was especially true when I tried to study advanced music theory and jazz improvisation; I would get only so far before becoming frustrated and giving up. I wasn’t dumb and for that matter, had very educated parents. But something was holding me back and I needed help overcoming whatever blocks I was dealing with.
He told me that the center offered a week-long ‘study course.’ I could get through the workbook on my own time, then come in twice a week for a written exams. After that was a week-long course in ‘communication.’ This sounded great to me, and I didn’t see anything weird or unusual about it, except when he deferred to ‘Ron.’ “You know, Ron says we all have these blocks caused by our past. And according to Ron, we all have the potential to move beyond these blocks and become ‘clear.’ With these initial courses, you’ll be able to grasp Ron’s ideas more effectively ”
I couldn’t help but ask, “By ‘Ron’ do you mean L. Ron Hubbard?” He nodded. “I could’ve sworn I heard he passed away, years ago.”
As if I’d disrupted the quietude of a library, he put his fingers to his lips and said ‘shhhh.’ Then he glanced left and right, motioning with his finger for me to come closer and spoke in a whisper: “We prefer to say he dropped his body.”
I chose to ignore the weirdness of this incident and began the study course right away. It was simple, but very useful and I noticed improvements at once. There were a few key points, and the one I remember most involved the unfamiliar or misunderstood word- the more you skip over words that you don’t know, the more frustrated and ready to give up you’ll become. This sounds so obvious to me now, but really wasn’t at the time. I learned to always keep a dictionary handy (much easier today with on-line dictionaries and phone apps such as WordWeb) and look up every new word before moving on, applying this to musical concepts as well. The communication course was equally helpful- I’d never had any guidance when it came to communicating or dealing with life’s challenges. In my family, anything remotely unpleasant or confrontational was avoided. Now I was learning that there were ways of confronting that were respectful to the person with whom you were communicating. I also learned to be a better listener and be a more direct talker as well. I had to admit that what I’d learned in these two basic courses was, despite their simplistic descriptions, very useful.
After I’d completed the two courses, I was introduced to Sylvia, a short, heavy set, troll like woman with a mustache. She gave me an evaluation which consisted of several questions about the course and how I was feeling about it. I felt pretty good. Then she said. “Ok, it’s time to sign you up for your next course! Now, we’re going to sign you up for membership and you’re going to need the following materials.” She brought out a half dozen or so books, some hardcover, some paperback, more workbooks. “It’ll be two hundred dollars. Will you be paying by personal check or credit card?” I expressed concern that it was a lot of money. She pointed out that as you make progress, more money comes. I supposed she had a point but told her I’d like to wait and think about it. She crowed gleefully: “But you liked the course right?” She nodded as she spoke, I nodded back. “And you noticed some improvements, right?” I nodded again, in time with her nods. “And of course you want to continue the progress you’ve made so far, don’t you?” We both nodded once more. “Then let’s get you signed up for your next course! How will you be paying?”
“Check.” I was conflicted- on the one hand, I’d just been manipulated into shelling out a bunch of money for a course I hadn’t decided to take. Yet, there was no denying I’d learned some invaluable things in those initial courses. So I thought I’d give the next course a shot.
The next course confirmed my nagging feelings of discomfort as they started sneaking in “Scientology” jargon- the church, past lives, space travel etc… And the behavior of the people at the center had gotten weirder. It wasn’t just that L.Ron Hubbard, excuse me, Ron, had passed away, excuse me dropped his body, and that they were all referring to him as if he was still alive and had just stepped outside for a smoke; it was that they viewed him as some sort of deity, never questioning of any of his writings and giving him all the credit as the creator of these concepts. The study materials were clearly drawn from Eastern and Western philosophy, psychology and spirituality- then made easily digestible with elementary simplicity, This was all well and good, except that no credit was ever given to any other sources. In fact, when it came to any other social sciences, religions or belief systems, the writings and consequently the followers, were dismissive at best, and severely critical at worst. How could these people knock the original sources and make this guy into some sort of spiritual guru who could do no wrong.? He was a science fiction writer! Could they not see it? They also took the jargon too seriously, including a system for evaluating a person’s mood (a scale of .5-apathy to 4.0-enthusiasm). I overheard one conversation which went: “Yeah, that guy was a real 2.5, if you know what I mean.” They were like sheep unwilling to think for themselves. They reminded me of people in the metal world who tried to be ‘cool’ by copying the speech and actions of others in the scene. Even worse was the fact that the entire organization was now being run by some secretive collective of advanced disciples operating off a ship somewhere off the coast of Fla. (no doubt so they could bypass certain US laws).
I quickly realized it was time to move on and continue my self improvement studies elsewhere. When I called to say I’d no longer be coming in, that same woman, Sylvia, tried to put pressure on me. She alternated between guilt trips and pleading with me to come in and talk about what was troubling me. I refused to be manipulated again, and told her that just as I was following my own path in music, I was following my own path in personal growth. My experience at the center had yielded some great initial results but I didn’t like where it was going and wasn’t comfortable with the idea of ‘membership’ or anything that resembled an organized religion. She kept pleading and scolding but I held my position and said goodbye to her for the last time. One of the most important lessons I’d learned in my studies there, that of facing confrontation head on, turned out to be quite useful when applied to the center itself.
Ultimately, I look back on my brief flirtation with Dianetics like this: it was a valuable learning experience and I’m glad I took the initiative to find things out for myself, rather than being swayed by the hype surrounding it. The study and communication courses gave me some useful tools that I’d later find available through more reliable and less imposing sources. I never felt like there was anything ‘dangerous’ about the organization, it was just idiotic and bizarre. Over the years, I wouldn’t be surprised as it became fodder for tabloids, late night comics, South Park etc… While I was happy for Chick Corea, Tom Cruise and other celebs who felt that becoming a ‘member’ of this organization worked for them, I didn’t need to go any further to realize that it wasn’t going to work for me. I came, I saw, I got out of it what I needed and I left.